As a teen I didn't really get a whole lot of attention unless it was negative attention. I was picked on and called names and laughed at every day. I wanted so hard to be liked I usually made up a lot of random crap that I thought people would be impressed by. Stupid teen ignorance right? Well if you have ever been in my shoes you know how bad it feels to get called nasty things all the time and never feel good about yourself except for inside you own fantasy world. My problem is, I just took it too far.
As of the age of 18 I would go to parties and drink and do drugs because I got attention when I did. My life flipped and I was popular for a change but it wasn't a good kind of popularity. Most girls hated me, any employer I had hated me.. I used people who tried to help me and that got me no where. I was still desperate to fit in that I did whatever I had to to get by. Eventually I ended up homeless and did anything I had to to survive.. that included a lot of stealing, lying, and cheating.
As I grew up a little and was a full blown addict I would get bored with my mundane life and would hang out with younger girls and I would eventually start acting like them because well, it got attention. . That attention usually became problematic and led to doing things I shouldn't have and making bad choices I tried to correct later on.
In this day I could care less if I get the attention I used to crave. I hope for attention from publishers and readers and that is only because I wish to help people. Positive attention is all I ask for but I am not willing to lie and manipulate to get that..
