Learning to think for myself

I can't count how many times I said, I don't want to do any drugs this weekend but then they showed up and I would get excited. I would regret it over and over and be ashamed of myself afterwards. More over I was ashamed of my actions on drugs. I acted like an 18 year old desparate for attention party girl and that was sad. I allowed to be called a bitch daily. I usually just laughed it off. That doesn't sound like much but I hated my call name being, bitch. I allowed to get chewed out over not making fried foods every day.. I would allow getting chewed out over being low on alcohol. I allowed a lot more that I shouldn't have.. I just had no idea what else to do.. Then one day, I just had enough..