I am sure I have been copping out of actually writing much lately. Unfortunately I have been so busy between work, my kids who are in town for the summer, my wonderful husband, and publishing my fiction thriller Saving Anna, I have been attempting to keep up with my blog but mostly in form of picture quotes and inspiring quotes. I feel like I need to write to my readers and give them a reason to feel like I have not been ignoring their needs.
I have people asking me questions like, "How do you cope with recovery in tough stressful situations?"
To answer that I say:
You have to consider what is important to you. I understand that dousing the stress away with getting drunk or high is just the easiest way to forget and cover the pain and deal with it later, but the problem persists and will only get worse if you put it off. Sometimes I have problems that will stress me out for days. I take the time to close out everything else, sit down and think. I think about what I could possibly do to solve the problem or at least lessen it until I can completely vanish it, if I can. Hiding from the problem with drugs and alcohol can seem like a good idea, but the next day you are only going to feel worse. So what is important? Staying clean and no matter how hard it is, do you push through and realize, everything happens for a reason. It really does.. or do you drown yourself in your sorrow and a bottle or a needle, or a pipe? I think the answer is obvious.
"My husband/wife just left me/cheated on me, all I can think about is getting high, what is the point of staying clean anymore?"
I answer this with:
Do you honestly think getting messed up is going to bring them back or change the fact that they were unfaithful? No!! for someone to hurt you like that, they expect you to fail. Don't give them the pleasure of being right. Be the strong one and become a better person. We are taught lessons for a reason and tested every day. Addicts are especially tested because we have to learn our own strengths and learn we can make it without the drug. I can't tell you how many times I had a fight with my husband and I would bolt in my car thinking of going to a bar and getting smashed and driving out of that bar to who knows where..but in turn I usually just go take a drive around the lake or down the interstate going 110mph with loud screaming music and the windows down. Yes that is reckless and dangerous itself, but I forget about getting hammered and it releases my anger to where I can go home and face him. This isn't for everyone to do, but I am a very good driver and I know how to handle myself behind a wheel, not everyone can. The point it, is behind the wheel is my pressure release point. I use it as a healing tool, where as in the past getting high was my healer. Everyone has a pressure release, you just have to discover it.
"How do I fight off the urges when it is still so new to me?"
I answer:
Did you think it was going to be easy? If it was easy, then all addicts would do it. You have to get rid of the source. Once you get rid of the source, you have less chance of relapse.
"I don't want to go to meetings and cannot afford rehab, can I do this on my own, and how?"
I answer:
I never went to meetings, I still have never been to one. I didn't go to rehab, I did this on my own. If I can, you can! Just because I am a writer doesn't make me better, I am not a certified professional. In order to be successful on your own, you have to discover what the problem behind your addiction is and get rid of it. My personal problem was, I was married to an addict, a drunk, and a very un-supportive person. I got rid of him. Yes it is easier that it sounds, but it was absolutely necessary to my success. There was no ifs, ands, or buts. That was that. Get rid of the source. If you are your own problem, and you know you have to change yourself, then make it happen. It is not that hard. You already know you want to change and it is important, so what not start. Starting is the hardest part, the reward is beyond worth it. Do it NOW!
Any questions?
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