I couldn't honestly tell ya how often I thought so highly of myself when I was an addict. I mean I think most of it was due to covering up to anxiety and depression but when I had my better days I sure was stupid about it. We have all seen the commercials about drugs and what they do to us inside and out. We have seen the billboards, the magazines, and so on. I used to laugh and just say, "they are just doing it wrong...that will never happen to me.". at that time I lived deeply into a fantasy world that couldn't possibly exist even though I really tried to make it so.. It took a lot of drugs to keep me there or else I had to face LIFE and that wasn't happening. I was a complete and udder mess and I got to where I couldn't be sober and face reality, I was afraid to because when I did, I hated everything I was and everything I saw. I did drugs because I thought, what was the worst that could happen? Boy, did a lot of bad things happen too. I was just too incoherent to know any better.
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