Whats hiding inside

I have done it.. Many times.. Still do sometimes.. Sit there and smile and pretend like nothing in the world could bother me when inside I am fuming. That's not a good thing, to bottle up emotions. Usually the outcomes are worse. I used to lash out all at once, put me in therapy trying to sort out why. I was diagnosed with a intermittent rage disorder. Not fun.. I was told to simply stop bottling up but you tell that to an angry depressed teenager and see how far that gets. It took me many years but I had to help myself. Nothings worse than going to see someone about helping you and all you get is a prescription and them saying, just stop doing that, and that's all...