Believing the names

I spent a great deal of my life believing I was worthless. When I was in 7th grade I started getting picked on pretty badly. I was bullied before then but it got extreme when I moved to a new school.  In high school I was called a freak, witch, weird, trash, ugly...almost daily. It was so bad, that I started believing them. My confidence was rock bottom, meaning I had none when it came to my appearance. I tried though, to change their minds. I was a cheerleader, which my peers hated because I was far from your typical cheerleader look, so I gave that up. I was in band for many years, I was good, music was my only confidence, I loved it, but no one in my school cared about the music department so no matter how good you were they didn't care unless you were already a cool kid then they paid attention.  If it wasn't basketball, you didn't matter. Sad I know, how shallow and stupid people can be but that was my high school,  shallow and stupid, many of them were, not all, but many. They made me hate them, some of them I still do, they made me the weird gothic freak I was. I did it on purpose, because I knew they hated it. They made me hate myself, why should I let them win by making me be normal and boring? No one ever defended me...
Through my 20s during my marriage to my ex, it got the worst of me. I was always being put down by him or his family. I wasn't good enough in their opinion. They are snobs who think the world should look up to them.. I didn't and was ostracized for that. My ex would compare the things I did to his mom and his sister and tell me I wasn't doing it right if it wasn't like them. I was always placed beneath them, if there was any arguments between me and his mom or sister, he would immediately put me down in front of them and take their side leaving me to LOOK like the bad one even though I was the one being called lazy and worthless by them..  no one ever defended me then either.
My everything was always on the critical table. To him and them, I was a bad mom, I was bad because I did drugs, but so did he and they pitied him not out him down, I was bad if I had a job or if I didn't. My cooking was criticized, the way I dressed, how I cleaned even if it was HONESTLY better than their way..
Behind closed doors I was not called by my name. I was a bitch, slut, fat, stupid, whore. Everyday at least one or two of those were my name. I was so distraught constantly that I really thought I was ugly fat and worthless all the time. I had no confidence when I went out in public. I never had friends because I was jealous of every girl that came around.
It wasn't until about a year ago that I actually started regaining self love and confidence. I still struggle but coming from nearly an entire life of being called names, how long would anyone struggle?