My subject above is something I never dared to do in the past. I was an
addict for 10 years. I have been sober for nearly three. My addiction was one of the most difficult hardship I had ever sailed on in my life. It still haunts me, it still scares me. I was a monster then. I spent my life revolving around my addiction. I stepped out of bed after not sleeping all night, to get up and go to work, my face sunk in and heavy, my heart hurting, tired, dazed, gotta do another line...get to work, go hide in the bathroom to do another line, gotta rush home to do more dope, not eating, not drinking, no sleep, feeling my body shutting down. I went to the hospital more times than I can honestly remember. Kidney stones, kidney infections, abscesses, chest pains, exhaustion, and severe dehydration that nearly cost me my life one day. I hated everything and everyone. I wanted to die, I didn't know what to do. My now ex husband was no help. He didn't suffer from it like I did. I hated the stuff, he loved it. He always talked me into doing more. I had no spine then, I couldn't, I was a weak fool who cowered under him. I was an addict who wanted to walk away but was too afraid to. I stayed and suffered through it for 10 years. Through 2 kids, a bad marriage that was revolved around meth and alcohol, I put up with it.. I walked away in Oct 2011. I woke up one day and said, "I am on my own, I don't know where to turn but I HAVE to go." This after being nearly choked to death and another event where my life was nearly taken by the man I trusted, I packed those kids, my cat, and a little bit of my things into a truck and bolted. I have never touched a drug since.
This is just a short essay on my previous stories. I am in attempt to open my story to the world. I am in the works of being published in several recovery magazines and world renown addiction blogs. I am reaching out as a beacon of hope for those who need a shining star to find in the darkest cloudiest skies. Thank you all for your reading of my works. Please allow me to help you if I can. Feel free to ask me anything.
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ReplyDeleteThat sounds fantastic! I would love to try my hand out in counseling, helping you, others, and myself. Give me a few days to arrange a template and we will start as soon as possible. How were you looking to communicate? Whatever makes you the most comfortable. I know not many of my target audience uses internet sources to seek help. When I was an addict, I never thought to go that route either. I thought I was all alone because everyone I knew waa an addict and I was too embarrassed to talk to family. I want to alleviate the embarrassment, shame, nervousness, fear and whatever it is that makes people not seek help.
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