Being Homeless and a Drug Addict

When I was 18 I was homeless for a good while. Like I have stated in my previous blogs, I really started using drugs when I was 18. Back then, I wasn't quite yet a hardcore addict but I was still a user. I never had money to get it for myself, ever. I had jobs here and there but they never lasted but a few weeks before I would get fired or before I just stopped showing up. Most of the time I wouldn't show up because I lived in my car. That meant I was exhausted,  hungry, and probably haven't showered yet. I used to go to the Exxon station in town who had an outdoor bathroom and bathe in the sink but that was always difficult.
Most people think homeless people are druggies or alcoholics but that isn't always the case. I did everyone else's drugs and drank everyone's liquor,  luckily I was really pretty so guys would always provide whatever drug I wanted. I was always invited to parties and would go just so I could pass out at a house rather than in my car. I did whatever drug was given to me. It was the best way to make me forget about my situation, at least til morning. I became friends with whoever had the goods. My best friend at the time, Gloria, she always ways my main provider and she never minded sharing. I went everywhere Gloria went and not just because of the drugs, because she had a cool house where I was always invited over, food, she knew all the "cool" people. I was magnetized to her. I do miss that girl. 
Being an 18 year old homeless girl in a small town was crap! I was tormented by the police for trying to sleep somewhere, no one wanted to hire me, the few people that did help me only did until my stupidity got me the boot, which happened often. I was hopeless and I went wherever the drugs went, which could have led me to some very dangerous places but then I didn't care.  What did I have to lose?
I was selfish thinking that, now that I look back. My friends that I kinda had, would they have cared?  I don't really know. My family, I can't imagine how it would make them feel if they could see the things I did, just for a warm place to sleep. I never had the courage to just ask for help. I just took what I needed without remorse.
Don't be afraid to help yourself.  Even if you feel lost and alone, you are not. There is ALWAYS someone out there that will help you. At that Exxon station,  I was in the bathroom bathing.  People kept banging on the door. I was embarrassed to come out, hair wet, dirty clothes in the arms walking to my beat up old thunderbird. A lady approached me that day. She asked if I wanted to come home with her, explaining that she had kids my age and she wanted to help me. I was an idiot and said no, I lied and said I was just passing through town. I passed up a chance to have a home and food. Don't be like me. Don't be afraid to accept someone's helping hand. I know the world is dangerous but not everyone is out to hurt.