As some may know, today is my birthday. I never liked birthdays and it has nothing to do with getting older. When I was an addict birthdays for me were usually spent sitting around being bored all day watching movies my ex picked out that I didn't like then going out to eat at a restaurant of his choosing. Nothing more... no gifts, no cake. .nothing. If I ever did get a gift it was usually one of his friends he invited over to hang out without asking me that I would have to cook for and clean up after who would bring me drugs as a present..not that I wanted them, but as an addict I guess they all thought that is all I cared about. It sucked! I ended up usually spending my birthday hiding from everyone or pretending I had grocery shopping to do so I could get away from my ex and his friends. The last 2 birthdays have vastly improved. I am still not used to hearing, what do YOU want for your birthday? Or what would YOU like to do today. I always feel guilty because I never know what to say. Is that sad?
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