My recovery process was a hell bound challenge. I did not go to meetings, I did not have a mentor.. I'm not bragging just making a point. I was dealing with the whole losing my kids in the divorce to an alcoholic ex husband who lied and manipulated people into believing I was the problem. I had already chosen to quit drugs and better myself but he turned me into a monster in the courts and I wasn't allowed to speak in my defense. I was basically told I will lose everything I have and give it all to a man who beat me, verbally abused me, tried to kill me, was an alcoholic and a drug addict and I was supposed to be good with that. That was the hardest point in my recovery. I had many moments of running away, finding a dope dealer and shooting up enough drugs to kill myself. That was where I was at in Nov 2011, then again throughout 2012. I was very angry and hurt. My name and reputation has been smeared and still has been to anyone who will listen to him. He tells everyone I am a trashy piece of crap who wants nothing to do with her kids. I don't understand why he says this. I don't understand why anyone would believe this. All I can do is just push on day by day and hope...believe...and dream.
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