When I first started really using drugs more than just socially, I used to HAVE to get high before I went out to eat, before friends came over, before doing anything. I thought that was bad enough, gosh was I dumb! That was how I was used to having fun...no way I was gonna do it sober.
Then it evolved to I have to get high before I get out of bed and face the day, I have to get high while I make my kids breakfast, I had to take dope to work with me to stay high. All day..I was a complete wasted idiot.. yes idiot.. I laugh at myself now but back then it was my way of life. Sad...
So once I finally realized my entire 20s was a complete load of crap and that needed to change, my whole idea of being transformed. It was like breathing for the first time!
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