Sober new year

Ask me anything

I listen to a lot of people speak about struggling with relapse and staying in recovery. I find it heart breaking that so many people have so many life issues that being able to stay clean is such a struggle. I can't say that I have never tried and not failed. I know that I used to spend many days saying, I don't want you to buy anymore drugs or arguing about buying alcohol when supplies ran short. That always turned into a fight in its own because I was the only one willing to stick to it but was never given the opportunity. Of course, that isn't an excuse but when an addict is given the opportunity to use, they typically will if they don't have anyone to hold them back. 

In that period of my life, I didn't know there was anyone out there that could help online. I sure as heck couldn't pay money for help, not that I didn't have the money, I wasn't allowed. I wasn't allowed to be out at meetings either because that would mean I wouldn't be at home cooking and cleaning and taking care of the kids. It turned into more than just an addiction, but into being controlled both mentally and physically. 

I know many people are dealing with the same situation and my way out doesn't work for anyone. I had to leave. It meant waiting until he left for work, knowing he was at work and not coming home due to weather as his job did many days. It meant stealthy planning for weeks ahead trying to find somewhere to go where no one knew I would be. It meant leaving with no idea what was in store for the future. It wasn't easy. 

Like I said, it isn't for everyone but helping people solve their problems and piece together a plan is what I am here for. If you need help and are afraid of the next step, don't hesitate to ask! 

With recovery

Sober Girl Inspired

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My heart and soul

So wise

Bold and beautiful

Sober flag

Loving it

Sober life!

Living!

Sobriety is...

Glorious

Recovery happened

#sober

Loving this sober life!

Badass sober girl

Let's get sober

Intentions

State of mind

New book (coming soon!!)

Hello all my dear friends! I am currently working on my new book, my self help book titled, "Empowering the Addict in Recovery".Will keep progress posted. It is going to be epic!! 

That dark place

Strong with sobriety

Heart

Beautiful recovery

Excerpt

Dark place

Choices

Inspired life

Finding greatness

Blessing in recovery

Happiness and rainbows

Saturday

Change

Looking up

Love and jealousy

I hate coming across blog posts of my husband's ex. Not because i am jealous of her work, no... I am tired of reading about how she believes her relationship with my husband was so perfect. She writes about how they had a fairy tale marriage and how they were madly in love. But it didn't work out, and she says she was the one who did everything right and struggled to make everything work. From my understanding of what I have been told by not just my husband but by many, she was a self obsessed controlling bitch who only cares about herself and making herself look good. She was desperate to be famous and continuously failed over and over. She borrowed and took money from people so she could pursue her desire to be rich and famous. She made her husband work multiple jobs to support her failing dreams she had no education to accomplish. He wasn't allowed to have any of his paycheck s because she had to take his money to pay her own debt then turns around and opens credit cards in his name to have more money. She was overweight and unwilling to make any effort to look attractive for him. Until one day she decided to go vegetarian and work out to lose weight. Not for him though, she woke him up in the middle of the night and made him pack her car so she could leave him. We all assume she met another man is why she made the effort to be attractive. She left him with tons of credit card debt and bolted. Months later she gets mad that he met someone new and she constantly writes him telling him lies about someone she doesn't even know. She calls me a psycho jealous stalker of hers and claims I want to be her. Why would I want to be a lazy, pathetic, unsuccessfully untalented loser? Harsh right? I know but it's true. She is trash and a liar and is so deeply in love with herself that she thinks she still has a grip on him. Now she flashes herself all over the Internet claiming she is highly famous and successful to get people to follow her. She fishes for compliments constantly needing people to call her pretty and say they want to be her. If they only knew who she was, she would be the most horrible ugly person anyone ever knew. Unfortunately, she proclaims to be helping people with alcohol addiction with her lies and fake stories. There has to be some way to finish her from the blog industry. She doesn't deserve the attention. It's all lies and I'm tired of her crap with my husband. You would think someone in the mid 30s would act like an adult. Message me for any questions or if you would like to know who, or any advise on the matter. Thanks!

Drug free and awesome

Starting over

Words of wisdom

Who I used to be

Sober weekend

Hope everyone had a beautiful sober weekend. I know I sure did and there is more where that came from. Love to all !!

Where'd all the drugs go?

13 years and over a million tears

13 years of it. Not all was one drug but it was many. I was a pot head through it all and it is where I began. I did not start using other drugs because I wasn't getting enough from pot. I used other drugs because I thought, I had to. Let me explain... I was mad but sad. I was lonely and unforgiving. I was a nobody, only paid any attention when I was bullied and kicked and it made me sad. I wanted friends who weren't embarrassed to be my friend. I'm sorry that I wasn't like the rest of you. That just wasn't me. I went through spells of lost in wonderland, I made up things in my head to erase what I felt. When I was getting older, I had to grow up but I was still so sad. I screwed up my life and threw away love. I met someone who showed me a new kind of love. It made me not feel, it made me wonder, ponder, and live. It made me not sad for many years of it's touch, but when it did hurt me, it became too much. I became mean, I became evil. I hated, I screamed, I hurt...everyone. I was fury, I was rage, I did not think there was a better way. I let it take me, along with it's close friends. When they were all there, I was not willing to let them end. I gave up and let myself die, until one day, I began to cry. I cried for days, month, a million tears over and over. I was sad. I wanted to go away and never return. I knew it wasn't right, but I could not see the selfishness as I contemplated how I would do it. It made me cry more. Then I knew, I still had love, so I ran away, and became something whole. I still have times I am sad but more of it is happy.

From now on

Do or die

I never thought...

Dear Me

What teaches us to use

Drugs are dumb

Falling in love

When I was married before I had a wrong impression of what love was. I thought love was a joke and the thought just made me angry. When I met my husband now, it was like "wow!!" I was amazed by brand new feelings and tingles inside me. What a beautiful thing. 

Survivors

Sober and alive

Excuses

Busting out