Sober and alive

Excuses

Busting out

Love is healing

Who would have thought? Love is a key ingredient in healing. It sure has made me feel whole again in my recovery. I never understood it to be so good. I always thought love was a fairy tale, meaning, I thought it was fake. Once I actually found it, I was in shock!!

All the bad things

So for the last month or so life has not been fun by any means. Selling our home has been a nightmare. We are exhausted and stressed to our max breaking point with trying so hard for the buyers bank to sign the loan but of course it's an old house with old house issues and here where I live, people don't like old homes. We have been through countless frustrations starting with the news that we have to get in contact with my husband's ex wife to have paperwork signed. That was terrible because the little bratty bitch refused to respond to us. We contact her friend who decided to tell us how awful we are to her and how we need to apologize. It's funny because I recall the bitch calling US blowing up on US because someone didn't like her lying crappy written blogs but she blamed ME for that. Her assumptions of me being jealous of her are ignorant but what else can I expect from a lying manipulative person such as she. So now everyone thinks we are bad people because she pulls out the victim card and flashes it around so people feel bad and pamper her. She is a loser. Sad people actually follow her blogs because if they only knew. As you can tell, I am spiteful towards her. I know, it's a bad thing right? I know some can understand.  After that we are hit with repair news we signed a contract to not to have to do but we are told we must do it anyways so we do it. Then last night another big hit and this time it takes its toll on me to my breaking point. So now with very little sleep and my tension and anxiety flairing high, I am awaiting to see if we will have a big fat check in our hands today, or if the waiting game continues. 

If this was 5 years ago I wouldn't be able to get through this at all. I would have sat all day getting high and crying my eyes out knowing this would never happen. The repairs wouldn't have been done, I would probably go to jail for assault on the ex wife but either way, I would have been high doing it. The drastic transition I have made to quit using drugs has been revolutionary. The stressors and struggles of life are still there working. Anyone who claims life is perfect and that they are perfect now sober is a liar. The issues will always arise no matter who you are. The difference is when you're on drugs, you cannot figure out how to solute them. You give up, break down, and poorly react. Nothing ever gets better with drugs, ever. 

Life depends

Drugs can't solve anything

For love and recovery