How much can I take? Life of a 17 yr old misfit

smoked marijuana for the first time when I was 15. Just the once then didn't touch the stuff again til I was 17. At that time I took such an angry depressive state in my life that anyone who paid attention to me and made me feel good about myself could have convinced me to do anything.  I was 17 and a friend wanted to introduce me to a boy. He lived in Missouri which was only about a 50 mile drive away. So I told my parents I was staying over at a friends (in Arkansas) and we loaded up in my convertible red mustang amd took off to Branson. I met the boy, and liked him. He was a lot like me, a social outcast. We hooked up instantly. Then I didn't realize what I want doing, I just thought it was cool, but I smoked a lot of pot in that house. I got so stupid that weekend I decided to skip going home Sunday. Didn't bother to tell my parents,  I just didn't show up to school Monday either. They called my parents for me and somewhere down the grapevine, (my friends mom) my secret was discovered.  I went home and to school, got my car taken away and then I got very angry. I had it by then with my life so I ran away amd back to Branson, much to the boyfriends surprise.. (not very happy he was) I wouldn't say I did it all because of pot, but I think it coincided with my rebellion.  Those several weeks I stayed there was the biggest nightmare my 17 year old self could imagine but I never realized until looking back as a clean and sober adult. My boyfriend dumped me amd I still lived there while he had other girls come over and stay in his bed. It hurt my feelings,  he was my first. I was so sad I would do anything to leave, except go back to Arkansas. One day a cute guy came over and said he had friends who could help me if I went with him. Against the plea of others not to go, I went. I followed him into that car amd was traded off to a 30+ something year old man in exchange for little bricks of powder (heroine). Yes I was sold for drugs. The 30+ year old man took me to a dumpy old trailer with no heat in the winter and stripped me. I was his toy. Later I was again taken to a home with a family and was told I could stay in exchange for taking care of their kids. They were nice people, I watched their sweet children, and was given all the drugs and alcohol I could want. But it was a sad life. I was still a used drug slave and had to endure whatever was expected of me. By time the police had found me, I was never so happy in my life to be going back home where I went back to school and graduated by the skin of my teeth. Not because I wasnt smart, because I was so far gone. I cared about nothing and no one. My brain was muddled and empty. But for those final months of my high school 17 yr old self, I remained clean.