It's hard to fully understand the selfish behavior you develop when you have an addiction. When I was in jail, I got one and only one letter. It was from my sister. I was surprised when I got it. I was in there a few weeks and no one wrote me, no one visited me. Out of all the other girls in there, I was the only one who was "alone." I had no money on my books to buy deodorant, paper, pencils, whatever... because I was alone. I had to borrow from the other girls which some were nicer than others. But when I got that letter I was really excited, until I opened it. It basically said I was a horrible person, I was no longer welcomed in her family, I was to stay away from her daughter, and to never speak to them again because I was scum. I deserved it. I was scum. I would come over constantly to bum food, shower, and I would bring my scumbag boyfriends over to eat. But worst of it, I stole blank checks from her, and I stole the cash out of my nieces piggy bank. Things are different now of course. I was allowed back, I was hopefully forgiven, I assume so. I owe them back. I realize that 13 years later. I was a thief and an addict then..multiple personality addict. Yes there was many sides of me then. I was a mental nightmare. I got high off of the thrill of being so multi personal. I got a high off of everyone playing into my bull. I got high off of stealing. I just got high...a lot..
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