Everyone has done bad or dumb things at least once in their life right? Everyone can say yes to that. Even the goody goods of the good can admit they have done some dumb things before. But when you are an addict, those dumb things are just a part of everyday life. They dont seem so bad or you know they are but you don't care because you feel you have to or like someone has told me, you don't realize you are doing it until you already have and you snap back into reality thinking, why did I do that, a little too late.
I was never a person that would sell everything I owned to get a drug fix. Probably because I didn't really have much when I was younger. Even when I did have plenty of money and cool stuff, I didn't. When I was 18 I wasnt a hardcore drug user. I smoked a lot of pot and partied every minute I could. But I did a lot of dumb things.. A LOT.
I would steal thibgs from friends houses and go pawn what I could.
I stole money from my sister.
I would sneak out to my parents house when they were at work, break in and steal change to go cash in at the bank. This became an extreme habit.
I have stolen a car that I was supposedly test driving drove it out of state, then tried to sneak it back in the middle of the night..yep got busted for that the next day.
I cussed out a police officer. . The one who arrested me for the car thing.
I would manipulate guys into buying me cigarettes and putting gas in my car. I sure as hell couldn't afford to.
I got into way too many strangers cars because someone would say theres a party at ******s house. I could've been killed. I didn't know those people.
When I was a little older and had kids I started losing my nerve quite a lot. I let my ex walk all over me. I let him buy all the drugs he wanted for the most part. Even if I said no he would just go to work and do them. But if they were in the house, I didn't want to do them but did because they were there and I was an idiot.
My kids never suffered because of drugs. Their hardest times have been moving from state to state for years due to oil field work. They never got to make friends. This type of oil career sucks you in and drains you before it lets you go. I don't know many guys in this side of the field that aren't drug addicts, alcoholics, or sex addicts. I have seen these guys drop a 2,000$ paycheck on a stripper or a prostitute while their wife and kids are states away home wondering where the money is. The things people do when they are an addict is tragic. You never realize how badly it affects people until your family disowns you and you lose every ounce of self respect you have ever had. It doesn't just go away when you recover either. I have been clean and sober since June 2011 and my past still haunts me.
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